A new chapter, a new life...
2006-09-07, 12:11 a.m.

on August 23rd 2006 at precisely 2:07pm my life was completely changed. forever. it was at that moment that after 10 hours of hard labor, and 17 minutes of pushing my daughter entered this world. MY daughter. So strange to think that i have a daughter. that matt and i created something so wonderful and so perfect.
it was absolutely the hardest thing i have ever done in my life. The pain was absolutely indescribably, and yet i was able to do it without pain medication, (something i'm really proud of considering no one thought i could do it!). I don't know if it was the idea of proving everyone wrong, or the stubborn nature that i have, or just the desire to protect my baby from ANYTHING that could do her harm, but regardless i managed to climb the biggest metaphorical mountain i have ever laid eyes on, and i'm alive to tell about it. amen!
still, in all seriousness, when they placed that tiny, warm baby in my arms, and she opened her eyes for the very first time...and looked into mine...well the feeling is just something that you can't explaine. in that moment i fell in love. in that moment i saw something more beautiful than anything in the entire world and i knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God exists and loves us. because, well, if he didn't, then how could such an amazing, wonderful, beautiful thing like her exist? it just couldn't.
i'm sure your all reading this and i'm sure you don't understand. heck, i didn't. even as i was screaming in pain that i couldn't push her out and i wanted to go home just seconds before she was born...even then I didn't understand. I didn't understand that the moment they placed her on my chest my life would be changed...forever. changed in the best ways possible.
see, now it isn't about me or matt or anyone else. now it's about her, Ellie. it's about keeping her safe and making her feel loved and protecting her and caring for her and just... loving her.
It's so funny to think that there was ever a time she wasn't here. because since the moment she arrived she's just belonged, and it's as if she's been here all along. well...who knows. maybe she has been here all along. watching us, and waiting. just waiting for the moment when it was time for her to make that grand entrance into the world and into our lives. either way, i'm so, so, very glad that she's here...

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